Priming Makes Decisions and Change Much Easier

Change is!!!  Sometimes it happens easily with the help of early adopters who “enjoy” trying new things and for whom risk is invigorating and non-threatening.  But for many of us, change is a threat that triggers emotions and resistance.  Actually what it’s triggering is our amygdala, the oldest of our five brains and the most primitive.  The amygdala senses “a foe” during changes and in .07 seconds we experience fear or a negative emotion and our behavior reflects that in our verbal language and our body language - often with a response that says ‘oh no, I’m not going down that change road with you.’  Our amygdala is just doing its job of keeping us safe.  Like a sentry, it stands guard at the gate of our brain to make sure we have the capacity to handle what’s coming our way.    

IMPACT OF CHANGE For example, one of the things that cause great stress for nonprofit organizations that work with individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities are changes in public policy.  Over the past few decades these changes signaled an important positive shift away from institutionalizing individuals with different abilities to integrating them into the community and supporting them in living lives of their choosing.  In our experience, there is nothing more satisfying and more beautiful, really, than seeing that a person gets to make choices about where they live and with whom; what they wear, where they work or volunteer, where they go on vacation and how they spend their free time.  But, and this is a big one…  For many parents, this policy change has meant exposing their sons and daughters to increased risk and making them vulnerable to being taken advantage of in the community and they’ve pushed back.  When you listen carefully to these parents, it’s not that they don’t want to support the change, they see its value, and they feel afraid. 

PRIMING FOR TRUST Judith E. Glaser, in her book Conversational Intelligence, How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results, explains that “trust is the feeling that I am safe and I know you have my back.  It is associated with the release of oxytocin, a neurotransmitter, which is considered to be associated with love, bonding and collaboration.  According to neuroscientists, elevating trust along with elevated oxytocin levels are interpreted in the brain as the expectation of benevolence.  Distrust, on the other hand, is associated with the release of cortisol, the fear hormone and is associated with the expectation of malevolence.”  According to Judith, one of the anecdotes to distrust is building trust through priming.

Nonprofit leaders that have successfully shifted organization’s practices or that are in the process of doing it to align with community inclusion public policy, have figured out how to bring along parents and all their other stakeholders too.  These organizations include The Arc Southern Maryland, The Arc Howard County (Maryland) and many other Arc affiliates around the US, as well as local organizations such as CHI in Silver Spring, Maryland.  These organizations have learned to calm the amygdala highjack by “priming for trust,” repeatedly.  Priming can work for any nonprofit organization leader and your teams for any decision about change, no matter how big or small.  And while doing so may take a little more time upfront, the investment is well worth it in reduced stress, greater commitment by all parties, and a broader base of advocates who are excited to support the change. 

Think of it this way. When you “prime” the walls before you paint, you clean them up first to understand the problem spots and develop a strategy to address those.  Next you address the problems, filling small holes with plaster or repairing bigger holes with wall board and more plaster or you sand rough areas.  After another round of cleaning you are ready to apply the primer.  It’s a different kind of paint that prepares the surface for the final top coat of paint, to help that paint go on smoothly and create a fresh professional look for your room.  The priming process makes that last coat of paint go on oh so smoothly and more quickly too.  (Thanks goes to Marcy Hyatt, our senior associate for the priming to paint analogy.) 

 “If you believe you can accomplish everything by "cramming" at the eleventh hour, by all means, don't lift a finger now. But you may think twice about beginning to build your ark once it has already started raining” 
― Max Brooks, The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection from the Living Dead

For nonprofit organization leaders, priming for trust brings intentional visioning around the results you want to see and the options you have for getting there.  Priming for trust creates the opportunity for everyone to understand what the change will look like when it happens, how it will likely impact their work and their life, and what they need to do to accommodate it. 

Here are three practical ways to experiment with priming for trust.  First, create a discovery strategy with a small group of people who will be impacted by the change.  Discovery means to explore the idea with questions that begin to build understanding about the change and what some of the challenges and opportunities might be.  Don’t make any final decisions in discovery.  If you make any decisions, focus on who else you need to include in the discussion to get more information and perspective that will help you develop a successful plan.

Second, identify two to three viable options you have for the next steps in the process and get input from your group on those options.  Explore together what you like, what you don’t like and what could be the best fit and why.  Often this discussion will result in a “third way” that William Ury explains in his book, Getting to Yes.  Judith Glaser calls it “co-creating.”  It’s when a new idea emerges out of a group’s work together.  Co-created ideas are energizing from the start because they grow out of contributions from everyone in the conversation.  

Third, using the results of discovery and the choices that you made together, do what you said you were going to do next with the people you said you were going to do it with, then rinse and repeat.  In other words, be ready to end one step with another step in discovery to figure out where to go next in your process for your next success. 

Making decisions and managing change happens one conversation at a time.  If you are feeling about now that priming for trust could take a lot of time, consider this.  It takes some time and a little slowing down, but not too much. The effort will be well worth the time invested.  When you prime for trust you speak the language that keeps the amygdala calm.  When the amygdala feels safe the gates open to the rest of our brains where our capacity for logic, reason, creativity and trust resides.  In this way of making decisions, you build that beautiful surface for trust and success for everyone involved. 

Managance Consulting & Coaching is on a mission to ignite passion and energize opportunity in nonprofit work places.  Denice Hinden, PhD, PCC, President and her team inspire leaders and teams to their next level of leadership and develop more trusting “we-centered” organizational cultures with transformational leadership development and engaging strategic thinking.  Denice is Certified in Conversational Intelligence®.  Judith Glaser is the founder and CEO of Benchmark Communications, Inc., and the Chairman of The Creating We Institute.   We are honored to partner with Judith to bring you our 2017-2018 Leveling Up Leadership Blog. 

 Copyright © 2017 by Managance Consulting & Coaching and Judith E. Glaser